Family

A lot of men don’t seem to sense the importance of going to church with their children. They reason that if their Mom takes the kids, everything will be fine, the children will grow up with great moral values. That’s not what the Bible teaches. The Bible teaches that the father, not the mother is to be the spiritual leader of the home. NIV Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Children are exasperated when they can’t figure out why Dad doesn’t come with them to church.

In 1952, the average Protestant worship service was 47% male. Currently, that figure is 39% and falling. A recent study showed the importance of the father taking the children to church. When Mom and Dad attend church regularly, 33% of the children grow up to attend regularly. When Dad attends regularly, but Mom never attends, 44% of the children grow up to attend regularly. However, when Mom attends regularly, but Dad never attends or attends infrequently, only 3% of the children go on to be regular church goers. Children take their cues from Dad.

If you’re a Mom who is taking your children to church, don’t get discouraged or give up. We have observed over and over again, that if Mom keeps coming to church faithfully with the children, Dad eventually starts coming. Even if he doesn’t, you are doing what you can do to raise your children for God.

Dads, it’s time to be a spiritual leader in your home. If you don’t, your children will suffer for it. Make a commitment to God this Father’s Day and ask Him to help you keep it.

Happy Mother’s Day! A mother’s job description is immense and it’s not 9-5, in fact, a mother’s job may require her to answer an urgent call in the middle of the night or in the wee hours of the morning. In many homes, a mother is the primary caregiver for the children, caring for physical needs, feeding, giving baths, washing clothes, buying groceries, praying for the children, singing and reading to them, taking them to school activities, church activities and friend’s houses. Without everything a mother does, a family couldn’t operate.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if a Mom was paid for everything they did around the home? They’d be worth more than any of us gets paid. We often take what mothers do for granted. Perhaps if we thought about the value of what they do we’d thank and encourage them more. Children ought to thank and encourage their mothers. NIV Ephesians 6:2-3 “Honor your father and mother”– which is the first commandment with a promise– “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” We ought to honor our mothers because it is the right thing to do and God will bless us for it according to this promise.

One Mom had two children aged 4 and 6. They wanted to do something special for their mother for Mother’s Day so they went out and bought her a house plant using their own money. They gave it to their Mom and she was thrilled. But the 6-year old seemed somewhat sad and Mom asked her why. She explained, “We saw a bouquet in the flower shop we wanted to give you. It was real pretty but too expensive. It had a nice ribbon on it that said “Rest in Peace.” We thought it would be just perfect, since you are always asking for a little peace so you can rest.” Mom replied “That’s OK, I think I like the house plant better anyway.” Even if the children didn’t have everything figured out just right, they did a good job at encouraging their Mom.

Raising children is a job, a ministry, of great significance. The demands on mothers and families are greater than ever these days. Sometimes being a mother may seem impossible, so much to do, little time. Moms need encouragement to keep going.

To hear more about this topic, listen to my May 8, 2005 message entitled God’s Encouragement For Mothers

The other day, one of our boys built a large house out of toy building blocks. It was magnificent, it had a driveway, a garage, even trees growing on the roof. Another one of our boys, playing in the room, for some unknown reason felt the urge to kick the house down. That precipitated loud screams and yells from the first boy who proceeded to chase his brother through the house until he tackled him. The screaming brought me onto the scene, I pulled the two wrestling participants apart and calmed everyone down. I got the true story and asked the boy who kicked the house down to say he was sorry. The second boy forgave him, they hugged each other and went back to playing together. The animosities of a few minutes before were forgiven and forgotten. Wouldn’t it be great if adults forgave each other that easily?

However, as adults, when someone has wronged us, we often find it easy to hold a grudge. We may say things like, “I could never forgive them for what they did to me.” Or we may say, “I can forgive but I can’t forget.” Maybe, we just keep an internal record of wrongs, keeping score as the relationship deteriorates. When wrongs have been done in a relationship and they remain unreconciled, you have a damaged relationship. If those wrongs continue being unreconciled, if new wrongs are added to them, eventually the relationship may be completely destroyed. In addition, if you are the one who has been hurt and you have not practiced forgiveness, your own life will be destroyed, spiritually, emotionally and often physically. Damaged relationships are serious business.

God wants us to learn what to do to restore damaged relationships and to learn how to release ourselves from the grip of unforgiveness. Here’s the basic principle from God’s Word. NLT Colossians 3:13 You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Take a quick inventory of your life. Is there anyone in your life who you hold a grudge against? Is it possible for your mind and emotions to be released from the pain of what someone else has done to you? The Bible teaches that it is possible, through the power of forgiveness.

To hear more about this topic, listen to my message entitled Restoring Damaged Relationships

Some time ago, I was driving down a road in St Louis and I needed to turn off at the next exit. However, someone was in the exit lane next to me, so I slowed down, way down, to wait for an opening. As I was slowing down, a large pick up truck with huge tires raced up behind me honking it’s horn. As I continued to slow, the truck raced around on my right. I saw the driver through the window, shaking his fist, yelling something. I was glad my windows were rolled up. He cut right in front of me and roared on his way. As I finally exited the road, I thought, that was not a patient man, that was an angry man. I didn’t have any warm fuzzy feelings toward him. I would think twice before trying to build a friendship with him. But, I must admit, I’ve had some angry thoughts and words about slow drivers on the road myself, especially when I’m in a hurry. Getting angry seems to come easier than being patient.

Patience is an essential character trait that you need to develop in order to have strong relationships. You can’t talk about patience without talking about anger, because the word patience means “slow to get angry.” The Greek word for patience is “makrothumos”, where makro means “long or slow” and thumos means “anger or wrath.” So patience means you have a long fuse, you don’t blow up easily, you manage your anger.

NIV Proverbs 14:29 A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly. It’s wise to learn how to develop patience, it’s foolish to be quick tempered. An angry person seems powerful, but he doesn’t accomplish anything contructive. In fact, anger weakens and destroys relationships. On the other hand, a patient person overlooks wrongs in others and strengthens his relationships. NLT Proverbs 19:11 People with good sense restrain their anger; they earn esteem by overlooking wrongs.

For a more indepth treatment of this topic, listen to my February 20, 2005 message entitled Developing Patience

Do you remember the first time you fell in love? Maybe back in middle school or high school. You noticed someone in class, but it was more than just noticing them. You had feelings when you looked at them, when you talked to them, feelings you never had before. Your heart beat faster and you had a funny feeling in your stomach. Must be love, that mysterious feeling that you fall into. You don’t seem to have much control over it, it’s either there or it’s not. When the feeling is there, it’s great, you’re in love. When the feeling is gone, love must be gone, or so many people think.

Love is not just a feeling. When the Bible talks about love, it uses the Greek word agape. Agape means to make a choice to appreciate and act in the best interests of someone else. It is used both for loving God and for loving people. So, love is a choice, a choice to do the right thing for someone else, whether the feelings are there or not. Feelings come and go in even the best of relationships. However, when the choice and commitment to love remains strong, it actually leads to the deepest feelings of love over the long haul.

How can you learn about love, the kind of love that lasts? The best place to start is with the person who invented love, God Himself. God showed us what love was all about in the person of Jesus. Jesus showed us love in His life and His death. It applies to how we love one another. NLT 1 John 4:19 We love each other as a result of his loving us first.

For a more indepth treatment of this topic, listen to my February 13, 2005 message entitled Laying A Foundation Of Love